‘Love and freedom are two sides of the same coin,’ this is the statement I heard from Osho.
Love and freedom are two sides of the same coin but in our whole life, love has been the way we form bondage. Love has been the way we trap someone, love has been the greatest nightmare for us.
In the name of love, we have been tortured and horrified. In the name of love, we have lost our freedom. In the name of love, we have at times prostituted ourselves. Let’s understand what love is, let’s understand the implications of it, what does it mean to be alone? What does it mean to be together? Or is it possible for us to ever be in love?
So far love is … I love you and you are mine. I love you and you are to follow me. I love you and you have to be my disciple. This love that exists now makes another person non-existent. The way we love now, the other person has no rights. In the name of love, we remove all rights from the other person and we push them not to have individuality.
We push them so they don’t exist, only we do. You do this in many ways. When you love someone and the person does something opposite to you, you are hurt … why? Because there is an expectation. There is possessiveness. You want to hold the person in your arms and the person is to become blind, deaf, so the person only loves you.
Man hasn’t come to the maturity to love and to be alone. To love and to be alone is to become an adult. It is to have the ability to love someone so totally and at the same time not run away from the fact that I am alone.
It is a fact that we love because we don’t want to be alone. It is our subtle trick to avoid ourselves from being alone. We cannot bear being with ourselves, we need an escape. We need someone else with us. We need someone else to hide our hurts. So we create relationships and we put in this stuff called love so we may convince ourselves that we are not alone, but the fundamental and undeniable fact is that we are alone.
You’ll be alone, you’ll die alone. No one ever comes to know you really. If in this life you come to know yourself, that’s good enough. Then how do we live in relationships? How do we relate with people?
If you drop the fear of being alone, you would watch yourself appearing a little bit cold, you don’t need anyone. You are happy by yourself. But then something bursts forth in your heart and for the first time you love, and this love is not possessive. You understand that the other has their mind, the other has their life, the other has their individuality and you would never violate it.
Right now, what love has done is violate your rights. It has taken away your being from you. You are not there, but you remain in the relationship because you are afraid to be alone. So that which holds both of you together is just the fear that you might be alone.
It is time to grow up. It is time to accept the fundamental fact that one is alone and love is so beautiful. The greatest treasure has become the greatest poison. The highest nectar in this life is the ability to love without possessiveness.
I love you so much, my heart aches but I bow to your freedom. I touch your feet at your birth and your glory.
I am not in any way trying to run away from being alone, but I am so grateful that I set my eyes on you. That I had a chance to embrace you. To smile at you. A person living this way lives a very sensible life, very, very sensible. One’s life is so passionate, one grows. One is a blessing but for that, one must come to be true to oneself.
People cannot accept truth. Truth is the furthest thing that they are looking for. They want to dilute themselves into romance, into anything that can take them away.
But the fact that keeps coming up again and again is that I am alone. That’s why no relationship satisfies. All relationships are somehow hollow, if it is based on escaping your aloneness. Just because you have a relationship, it doesn’t change the fact that you are alone. And as you go on, the romance disappears and the freshness disappears. You come to see that you are still alone and you get angry in the relationship.
But if one can develop the heart of simply loving, simply being in the heart, simply pouring, simply smiling, one takes on a new quality in this life.
If you accept the fact that you are alone, you will never hurt in this life. I don’t know if you have ever loved, many of you talk about it but I am not sure. You are salesmen because you are constantly selling something, it’s so difficult to trust a salesman’s word.
Do you know how to love? If you haven’t loved, you haven’t lived. If you haven’t loved, you have not been born.
Today, let us go into this and be free from the nonsense. Are we not to have relationships in this life? Yes, we are to have relationships. But it has to be two ‘alones’ meeting. With a heart beating in love.
Most of your problems come out of relationships. You get into relationships hoping that your heart will be healed, and you come to see that it is never healed. Now how? What am I to do?
Go into quantum. Move deep into yourself. Silence the mind more because the mind also takes you away from being alone. Silence the mind, and you are for the first time totally alone. And the moment love pours, you don’t need anyone else to love you. Your love is enough. And if the other is kind enough to love you, it makes it more beautiful. That is why in love, they say, two people have become one.
When two become one, it is still only one. So you are still alone. I am alone and you are alone, in love we meet … we are alone again. So alone is the fundamental, undeniable truth. People think that if they get famous they can avoid being alone. You are most alone then. I have not seen a more alone person than me. I have thousands of people around me yet I am alone, no complaints at all.
The ability to be silent, the ability to be still is the art, is the state for love to flower. In this world, there is no greater energy than love, it moves everything.
Your whole greed for success, it’s nothing but fear of aloneness. You want to look for security to secure yourself. And this security, if you go deep into it … it is you wanting to protect your house so you may keep your family and you don’t want to be alone.
That is why if you don’t have a family now, you will ask what is the point of making the money. Your motivation for becoming rich is wrong.Now, let’s look at it in another way … I am alone and I am in a dance. I am alone and I am blissed out of my brain. I am alone, hallelujah! And I’m ready to love.
Only the man who is alone is ready to love. He loves so freely. It is his nature, it is his vibration.
Now, when you’re with a Master, understand you’re with a man who is alone. And right now you need the relationship with the Master, but you have to be with the Master, as you are alone and as he is alone. The relationship is beautiful. No other relationship will be as such, where two aloneness’ meet.
Yesterday, a disciple came to me and said something that made me very happy. It was something I was waiting to happen. He said, “Master, leave me alone, I will survive.” Now that he has become alone for the first time, he and I can be friends. For the first time, the secrets I hold in my heart I can pour into his heart. He is alone and I am alone. Two nothingness meeting … a dance.
This training is for you to come of age, for you to attain maturity, for you to become a grown-up. Enough of the nonsense that we have played all this while.
Do people need to get together? Yes. There are times you have to get together to get something done. But in the togetherness don’t forget that you are still alone. Don’t let the crowd convince you that you have lost your aloneness.
It never goes away. It is there. Then the words, I love you, have so much life and yet you don’t actually love a person in particular. Your whole atmosphere is loving in nature. But for that you have to accept being alone. Being with me you must learn to be alone, you have to be alone. But understand, I’m not saying go away from me.
I’m saying be in a state of aloneness with me, then you will form the right relationship with me. Then something can be done. I hope that in your life, you will come to experience total aloneness. Not lonely. Lonely means you want to avoid the aloneness. And in that aloneness you have strength, you have grace, you have beauty. In that aloneness, you are born.
We might be a crowd here, but each one of us is appearing alone as an individual. No one is your boss. No one is your master. No one is anything to you. You are alone and I am alone. In this aloneness, we occasionally relate.
Remember the path that you are moving into. Become very clear why you are here, penetratingly clear why you are here. And move, and move into it with courage.
Don’t be afraid to love. Love cannot be wrong, if it’s born truly. Before love takes abode in your heart, you are not yet born. If there is love in your heart, for the first time you are born.
Man always asks, life, please let me live it. Love, please let me experience it. But the truth is that life is always saying, please be alone so I may embrace you. Love is always saying, please be alone so I may enter you. Dance is always saying, please be free so I may move you. God is always saying, where are you?
Because you never seem to be present. You keep running away. You are an escape artiste. Your whole ability is to escape you. Truth is very painful. Truth is so painful for those who want to escape, but truth is the very nectar for a man who wants to embrace it. I hope you find love in your life, I hope. I can only hope. I hope your heart beats in love. I hope in this life you enter the love of the total, the love of the universe.
ABOUT WHAT IS LOVE
The above is an excerpt from What is Love?, a book by Dhyan Vimal. First published in 2006, What is Love? has since become a favorite amongst friends, students and disciples. Now being made available as an E-book, we trust it will serve to introduce more readers to what Dhyan Vimal stands for and offers humanity at large. The book is available for free in english and spanish.
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